A LONG TIME AGO, at the very beginning of my career, I worked in a small, rural K-12 school in the mountains. At first, things looked promising. But it all changed when my relationship with my principal took a turn for the worse. Some mistakes were mine—and many were hers—but the result was a miserable school year. I quickly learned that most of the staff had similar stories. Consequently, morale at the school was consistently problematic, and student behavior was an issue. Sadly, this negative experience with an administrator nearly drove me away from my chosen career in education. 

However, a few years later, I got a job in another school district where I had a very different experience. My administrator was gracious and respectful to everyone, and her staff felt very comfortable communicating with her. Problems were addressed with a team approach. The resulting partnership flowed into the local parent-teacher organization. Students were happy and well-behaved, the staff was consistent and effective, and parents were supportive. 

Many years have passed since both of these experiences, and through it all, I’ve gained valuable wisdom and learned many useful ways to partner with administrators. But most importantly, I’ve come to realize that regardless of position, grade level, or demographics, when school staff and administrators work together as partners, they will see good fruit from their labor. 

However, it’s important to remember that we live in a fallen world. And we will inevitably deal with flawed individuals, including ourselves. Administrators are just as broken as everyone else. But when someone in a position of authority wields that authority in imperfect ways, it can be difficult to navigate. For this reason, I hope to encourage you by sharing some practices that have helped me develop positive relationships with my administrators (even the challenging ones) over the years…

• Start with a willingness to be an instrument of harmony. When I had a particularly difficult time with my administrator one year, I made it a point to pray a prayer of surrender at the beginning of each day, asking the Holy Spirit to guide me in all of my interactions and plans. I accepted that I couldn’t control or change the actions of others, but I could give my struggles and feelings to God and allow Him to take care of the rest. Even though my circumstances didn’t always change, my outlook always did.
• Focus on your administrator’s strengths. At another point in my career, I worked with a principal who lacked soft skills and came off as overbearing. She left a similar negative impression on other staff members. However, when she and I worked together to intervene and help a student, our relationship changed. Through this experience, God showed me that despite her gruff demeanor with adults, she was very compassionate towards vulnerable students. Although I had previously avoided her, I began consulting with her about troubled students. She even offered to spend time with behaviorally challenged students as a reward for good behavior. She loved the positive time with the children, and it helped everyone see her in a better light.  
• Involve administrators in classroom and school-wide activities. The reading specialists in my building wanted to inspire students to read more books, so they approached the principal and asked if he would be willing to offer an incentive that involved him kissing a cow if the students reached their goal. The teachers kept an updated chart in the school lobby throughout the year. Sure enough, at the end of May, the students and staff were beyond excited when the local farmer trucked Buttercup up to the front yard, and our principal planted a big kiss on her enormous wet nose! 
• Work as a team by leveraging your administrator’s position of authority. One young teacher in my school felt intimidated about calling the parents of an ornery student because the father had a reputation for being verbally aggressive. Instead of calling, she asked the principal to help her meet with the parent, which they did. The principal’s presence subdued the father and led to a more productive meeting, and the young teacher felt supported by her principal and more confident in her ability to navigate the conversation. 
• Pray for your administrator. An administrator I used to work with closely got into the habit of passing off responsibilities to me that really should have been his. Much of this was due to the stress in his personal life. So, instead of getting angry, I prayed for him often. Though he did not change his habits much, it helped me not become bitter and resentful while I was bearing many burdens. Praying for him changed my heart and brought supernatural power to bear on the situation. 

Building a partnership mentality with administrators requires a willing spirit. Even when it seems impossible, with God’s help, it is possible to make a connection, make good use of the positive qualities in them, and see them as people just like you who got into this profession to make a difference in students’ lives. 

Sally Newton is a retired elementary school counselor who splits her time between rural Pennsylvania and Central Florida, where she enjoys kayaking and fishing with her husband and spending time with her daughter and baby granddaughter.