“Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs” (James 3:4, ESV).

James spends over half of his third chapter outlining the dangers of an untamed tongue. While we may correctly think of his warning in terms of recklessly harming others, we may miss an important aspect of his message if we overlook the fact that we spend a good portion of our days speaking to ourselves, too. 

As teachers, the words we say to ourselves when our students are in the room are most likely silent. When the room is empty, at least for me, they can quickly become audible: “All right, that’s posted! Nice work. Now let’s work on seating charts…No. No phone right now, and you already had a Twix bar! Focus.”

But whether others can hear our thoughts or not, how we talk to ourselves can deeply impact our outward attitudes and conversations with those around us. In other words, our self-talk matters! 

So, how do we consistently speak life-giving words to ourselves?

1. Make Christ our pilot. As James points out, the small but powerful rudder of a ship is controlled by the will of the pilot. We must ask ourselves honestly, then, Who is at the helm of our lives: Christ or self? Furthermore, James points out that when we are at the helm, we run the risk of “setting on fire the entire course of life” (James 3:6) with careless words. Therefore, we simply must make Christ our pilot if we have any hope of consistently speaking life-giving words to ourselves, co-workers, and students.

2. Accept that our worth comes solely from the cross of Jesus Christ. In Galatians 6, Paul gives believers permission to boast in just one thing—the cross of Jesus Christ. Scripture is filled with affirmations of who we are as Christ-followers—created, chosen, pursued, forgiven, adopted, rejoiced over, led, and loved beyond measure. These truths appear again and again over the course of sixty-six divinely inspired books, proof of our undeserved role as His beloved in the biblical love story that spans from Genesis to Revelation. 

3. Incorporate truths from Scripture into our daily self-talk. We can do this in the following ways:

• Search Scripture for verses that speak of our value as malleable clay shaped by a loving God. Underline, highlight, or bookmark these verses, making them easy to reference in the future.
• Surround ourselves with love letters from God. We could write a few special verses on note cards or sticky notes, and place them on a bathroom mirror, coffee mug, or small frame on our classroom desks.
• Echo these scriptural affirmations to God in prayer whenever they cross our minds: “Lord, thank you for choosing me and redeeming me. Thank you for purchasing me with a price. I know you have plans to give me a hope and a future.”
• Practice applying these scriptural affirmations to everyday scenarios at school and home: “Well, that conversation didn’t go as planned. However, tomorrow is a new day, and His mercies to me are new every morning.”
• Repeat these truths again and again, and add more verses to our collections as God reveals them. Since we internalize the messages we repeatedly hear, we should aim for purposeful and frequent exposure to God’s words about our value.

Christian educators have a unique opportunity to model what it looks like to embrace our identities in Christ through our words and actions. As students observe us, they will see Christ’s beautiful, available, and life-saving love reflected in us. And it is, undoubtedly, our deepest hope that they will want this same love for themselves. 

Kristi Shanenko, a Christian Educators member,  teaches ELA in North Dakota. She loves her teenagers at school and home and feels grateful that God chooses to work through His children in small but eternal ways.